I'm hoping this message finds you exactly when you need to hear it. This is something I've been thinking about deeply, and it has helped me so much in my own healing and in overcoming trauma. So I'm hoping it reaches the right people at the right time. This one is going to be very personal, so let's get into it.
My Story
I've been in therapy consistently, every single week, for the last few years, because I was severely abused by my own parents. I left their house four years ago, and even after that, the harassment and stalking continued until about two years ago. I won't go too deep into all of it, but I want to share enough that you understand what I was carrying.
I'm an only child, and my parents leaned on me for emotional support. They had rough childhoods themselves, presumably harder than mine, and they passed a lot of that pain and expectation down to me. When I told them I wanted to move out and live my own life, they snapped. I was their safety net, and they relied on me the way a child relies on a parent, so my leaving felt like abandonment to them, and they went to extreme lengths to try to keep me under their control.
They took my entire life savings, money I'd earned working since I was a kid as an actress, and I had to fight them in court to prove it was mine. Taking your own parents to court is its own kind of heartbreak, and I went into debt to do it while still trying to pay my bills. On top of that came constant harassment: fake social media profiles leaving hateful comments on my posts, threatening mail, impersonation, and people accessing my accounts to cancel flights and shut off my phone number. It was a relentless campaign to break me down so I couldn't function on my own.
I share all of this for one reason: whatever you are going through right now, as heavy as it is, I need you to know that your trauma and your life experiences do not make you broken.
The Misconception That Kept Me Stuck
For a long time in therapy, I kept believing I needed to fully fix myself in order to be a better manifestor and to be more spiritually aligned. I thought I had to be positive and happy all the time. But the truth is, I'm not. Sometimes I cry my eyes out because I miss the version of my parents I thought they were, mourning the relationship I believed we had. Sometimes I'm deeply shaken. I've had nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night from dreams of them.
Here's what I finally learned. You are not meant to be perfect. You are not meant to erase your traumas or your struggles. That is your humanity. That is what makes you human, and it is not something spirituality asks you to delete.
Healing Doesn't Mean Erasing
You're not supposed to erase your hardships from your past, and you can't prevent every hardship in your future. That's life. What you can do is take away the power those experiences hold over you.
What healing actually looks like
Real healing is forgiving yourself and others. It's allowing pain to flow through you instead of gripping it and trying to control it. That release is what abundance and spirituality truly are. When I made this shift, so much of my PTSD eased. I went from frequent nightmares to going weeks without them, simply by starting to release rather than resist.
Forgiving myself
Part of what I was holding onto was anger at myself for being so affected. I'd think, "You're a spiritual influencer. How can you preach about spirituality while having nightmares about your own trauma?" I was furious with myself for not being "over it" yet. What I didn't understand is that healing doesn't mean erasing. If I hadn't lived through what I lived through, I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't be as kind, as empathetic to other people's pain, or as driven. This entire platform was born as an outlet during my hardest season. So why would I want to erase the trauma when erasing it would also erase my identity?
You Are a Quilt, Not a Single Square
The same is true for you. Stop trying to heal yourself by erasing yourself. Allow the pain to exist and recognize that it's part of you, not all of you. Think of yourself as a quilt made of every memory and experience you've ever had. Your hardest chapter is just one square in that quilt. It's woven into you, but it is not the whole of you, and it doesn't need to be cut out.
The goal of life is not to make life perfect. The goal of manifestation and spirituality is not perfection either. It's to move with life in flow, with ease, safety, and compassion, especially compassion for yourself.
Your Emotions Don't Block Your Manifestations
Here's something else I learned that I want you to really take in. Being negative, crying, feeling angry, hurt, or traumatized will not prevent you from receiving what you desire. I am living proof. I cried myself to sleep many nights and still built a multimillion-dollar business and a platform of millions of followers, all while mourning and healing at the same time. I did it all at once, and so can you.
You are not broken. You are not something that needs to be fixed. What actually affects your manifestations is not whether you're smiling or crying. It's your self-love and your compassion. So forgive yourself. Love yourself. Allow yourself to be imperfect and love yourself anyway. That is true unconditional love, that is real self-worth, and that is what will bring your manifestations faster than anything else.
You are in the right place at the right time, and everything you desire is moving toward you. I love you so much.
For rituals, affirmation tracks, and manifestation tools to support your healing journey, explore the resources at luckygirl.com.