In this post, I'm going to show you how to make them regret losing you, how to make them come looking for a second chance, and how to have them wanting you all over again. But I need to warn you: use these tips carefully, because they work. This will make you level up so hard that you might not even want them back once you get there.
Before we dive in, take a second to align yourself with the energy of being chased, desired, and wanted. Affirm this right now, out loud or in your heart: I didn't lose anything. They did.
We have to be so careful with the thoughts and words we repeat, because what we say to ourselves on a regular basis shapes our reality. So let this be your new truth. You didn't lose anything. They did.
Step One: You Didn't Lose Anything, They Did
The person who walked away is the one who lost out on you. You need to completely reframe this. And let's be honest: if that person was willing to leave you, they weren't meant for you anyway. They couldn't appreciate what was right in front of them. You could have placed a pile of gold in front of them and they still would have been looking around wondering if there was something better, because they don't understand value. They don't even know what's good for them.
You can't force someone to understand your worth. What you can do is show them what they lost. Their leaving didn't take anything away from you. It actually gave you the opportunity to see what else is out there, and to find something better. Once you release your attachment to one specific person and open your eyes to your options, you start to realize how truly valuable you are, especially when it comes to dating.
Step Two: How They Treat You Reflects How They Feel About Themselves
Here's the part that changes everything. The way someone treats you is a direct representation of how they feel about themselves. If they keep you down, ignore you, or brush you off, it's because that reflects their own self-worth and how they believe they deserve to be treated.
Everything they do is a projection. If they talk badly about you or refuse to treat you well, it usually means they don't love themselves. Some of my own exes used to try to keep me down. They wouldn't celebrate my accomplishments or offer support, because deep down they felt insecure being with someone confident and successful. If I had stayed with them, I'd be filled with self-doubt to this day. It wasn't until I ended those relationships and went out into the world that I realized I was far too good for people who felt the need to shrink me so they could feel bigger.
Step Three: Never Beg and Never Chase
You cannot chase something that you want to chase you. It simply doesn't work that way. Think about the game of tag. Only one person can be "it," and only one person can chase at a time. If you're the one chasing, that means they're not. The moment you stop chasing is the moment they have no choice but to start chasing you.
Block them out, then fill the space
The next move is to remove them from your daily life. Whether that means literally blocking them on social media and text or simply going no-contact, do it. Blocking sends a powerful signal that you're done and that you genuinely don't care to chase anymore.
But here's the key most people miss: don't just remove them, replace that space with something meaningful. When you take someone out of your life without filling the gap, you feel a hollow emptiness that pulls you right back toward them. The easiest way to decentralize someone is to bring new, exciting things into your life instead.
Step Four: Take Up a New Hobby
Taking up a new hobby will skyrocket your self-confidence. Every single time I learn a new skill, I realize how intelligent, driven, and capable I actually am. A new hobby also introduces you to a new community of like-minded people, new friends, and sometimes even new people worth your time and attention.
I especially love physically active hobbies, because movement releases endorphins, sharpens your mental clarity, and eases anxiety and low moods. When I was 25, feeling down and craving a change, I took up rock climbing even though I'd never climbed a day in my life. Within weeks I was one of the top climbers in my gym, tackling the hardest routes, making friends, getting strong, and feeling more confident than I had in years. Pick a hobby that creates a whole new level of energy for you: confidence, a fresh social circle, and something to strive toward.
Step Five: Genuinely Work on Yourself
This is where it all comes together. When you truly put effort into yourself, you finally understand your value. So much of the pain of a breakup stems from not recognizing your own worth, because when you undervalue yourself, everyone around you does too. How can you expect someone to chase you and cherish you when you don't yet value yourself?
I'll give you some tough love, because I've been exactly where you are. The more you build your self-worth, the more you'll notice everyone in your life starts treating you differently. You don't have to change a single thing about who you are. You can be the exact same person, valuing yourself differently, and the whole world responds to you differently. It's the strangest, most beautiful thing.
The self-prioritization experiment that changed my life
I grew up with a lot of self-esteem and self-worth wounds, and I was deeply insecure for a very long time. A few years ago, I got sick of it and decided to run a 90-day experiment. The rule was simple: I would build my schedule and my life as if I were living for me and nobody else. It didn't matter what a partner said, what my family thought, or what society expected. I wanted to do my own thing.
During those 90 days, I picked up rock climbing and got fit and strong. I quietly started brand new social media accounts about spirituality and manifestation, and I told no one, because I didn't want anyone's opinions or distractions while I was building myself. The rest is history. Today I have nearly 7 million followers across platforms, I'm a self-made multimillionaire with my own business, and I trust my own advice and opinions so much that no one can tell me what to do.
You can do this too. Start small with a 7-day, 30-day, or 90-day experiment where you ask one question: if I were living for me and nobody else, what would my life look like? Would you quit the job or find a new one? Move to a new city? Call an old friend, or cut certain people off? Build your days around that answer.
The Real Result
Here's my promise. When you do this work, everyone will start treating you differently, including the specific person you thought you wanted back. The only difference is that by then, you won't need them anymore. You'll have leveled up so much that their regret becomes an afterthought, not the goal.
I was so insecure once, and if I could transform my life this way, so can you. You are so much more amazing than you even know, and I'm so excited for your new life, the one where you finally prioritize yourself.
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